Quick Gut Check:
If you had to hand your business to someone else for 48 hours, would it survive without you?
If your answer is no (or even I don’t know), you’re not alone. A 2025 study found that 55% of startup founders struggle to sleep because they fear letting go.
For leaders, rest isn’t a perk. It’s a leadership skill. And struggling to rest isn’t really about time—it’s about control.
My Wake-Up Call (Literally)
When my staffing company was $600,000 in debt, I was convinced if I stepped back for even a second, the whole thing would collapse.
I worked 24/7. Delegation felt like weakness. Sleep felt dangerous.
Underneath all that drive was fear: fear of failure, fear of not being enough.
Here’s the part I didn’t see at the time: I wasn’t leading from power. I was leading from imposter syndrome.
I had convinced myself my job was to be The Oracle—to have all the answers, all the time, for everyone.
It was exhausting. And it was foolhardy.
And imposter syndrome doesn’t just keep you hustling; it literally keeps you awake at night—because when you believe it all depends on you, your brain never lets you rest.
What I didn’t realize was that my need to control wasn’t protecting the company—it was choking it. And the cost wasn’t just revenue. It was my health, my marriage, and my ability to be present for my family.
What Control Really Costs
Control isn’t strategy. It’s self-protection. And it has a price tag:
- Burnout: You’re “on” even when you crash.
- Team Paralysis: When you make every decision, your people stop trying.
- Vision Drift: You’re so deep in tasks you lose sight of the big picture.
According to HBR and Neurolaunch’s 2025 founder wellness survey, leaders who over-control report:
- 27% slower decision-making
- 42% lower team trust scores
- Higher risk of strategic misalignment within 12 months
The Neuroscience of Rest
Here’s what the science says:
- Sleep clears cortisol (the stress hormone) from your system.
- It restores your brain’s prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for executive function, decision-making, and emotional regulation.
- Without it, you’re literally leading in survival mode, not strategy mode.
In other words: when you don’t rest, you’re not just tired. Your brain is physically incapable of leading at its highest level.
Erin’s Story: The Rest Revolution
Erin, a founder I coach, hadn’t taken a full weekend off in two years.
She told me, “If I’m not available, I feel guilty. Like I’m letting people down.”
Beneath that guilt? Fear of being irrelevant.
We didn’t start with clearing her calendar. We started with rewriting the story she told herself.
– One evening fully off.
– One weekend offline.
– One project fully led by her second-in-command.
Her fear spiked. Her brain went into a doom loop: “The business will collapse without me.”
To address that fear-based narrative, we created a plan with guardrails and milestones to give her brain proof it was safe to let go.
The result?
- Her team rose.
- Her creativity came back.
- Her anxiety dropped.
- And at home? She told me her kids said, “Mom, you’re smiling again.”
That one hit me. Because leadership isn’t just about the business you build—it’s about the life you get to live while building it.
What This Means for You
If you can’t rest, the problem isn’t just the business. It’s how much your identity is tied to being indispensable.
Harvard’s 2025 leadership report found that founders who prioritize rest and reflection are:
- 36% more likely to hit strategic goals
- 42% more likely to retain top talent
But here’s the hidden win: they also report higher quality relationships at home and better emotional presence with their family.
Where to Start
- Audit your calendar: Where is rest scheduled? (If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real.)
- Check your mindset: What story are you telling yourself about being needed?
- Run a small experiment(aka Baby Steps): One evening off. One meeting led without you. Notice what shifts.
The Hard Truth (That Might Free You)
Control doesn’t keep you safe. It keeps you small.
Feeling fatigued isn’t a weakness—it’s your dashboard flashing red that something needs to change.
Leadership isn’t about holding every lever. It’s knowing when to step back so your team—and you—can step up.
If you’re ready to build a business that sustains you instead of drains you, let’s start that conversation.
