I travel a lot for my work—city to city, leading forum retreats or working with coaching clients and their leadership teams around creating psychological safety at work and home.
Recently, I was away for just a few days, and when I returned home, there was a clear riff between my daughter and her mother. After my fiancée stormed out of the room, leaving the dinner table before we were finished, I took a few deep breaths, turned to my daughter, and asked her what that was all about.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, did something happen while I was out of town?”
“No.”
“Your mother is clearly upset, and I just got home, so it’s not at me this time.”
“I’m just really stressed about finals, and she tried to help, and I told her I didn’t need her help.”
“Ah. Okay.” In my head, I thought, you never tell a mother she’s not needed. “What are you most stressed about?”
“Spanish. I just need to talk it out loud. I do best when I teach it to someone.”
“Okay. I can do that. Let me talk to your mom while you clean the table, and then you can teach me Spanish.”
I then went upstairs to sit with my future wire. Given what my daughter had said, I had an idea of why she was upset, but I let my fiancée tell her side of the story. In staying curious about how she tried to help our daughter and letting her say out loud how she felt rejected and dismissed allowed her to move through the feelings of hurt to a place of feeling seen, heard, known, and accepted by me because I was able to uncover the true hurt–Rejection.
This Valentine's Day, I encourage you to prioritize connection and understanding in your relationships consciously. Take the time to have meaningful conversations, to ask questions, and to truly listen to the answers. Show your loved ones that you see them, hear them, know them, and accept them for exactly who they are.
And remember, love isn't just about grand gestures or extravagant gifts; it's about the everyday moments – the shared laughter, the comforting embrace, the quiet understanding. It's about making the people in your life feel cherished and valued, not just on Valentine's Day but every day.
So, as we celebrate love in all its forms this Valentine's Day, let's commit to creating a world where everyone feels seen, heard, known, and accepted – because that's the true essence of love.
Wishing you a Valentine's Day filled with love, laughter, and cherished moments.
