In coaching sessions and conversations with clients, one common theme that emerges time and again is the struggle to manage work responsibilities, family commitments, or personal well-being. It's easy to feel overwhelmed when the demands pile up.
My conversations sometimes go something like–
“I was a jerk today and felt like I hurt someone’s feelings with my harsh words.”
“Why did you use harsh words?”
“Because I didn’t have the energy to tailor my questions and actions thoughtfully. I just needed a thing to get done and needed the person to get it done.”
“Sounds like the demands of your work and life are out weighing your resources.”
“Ah, yeah. I ’m f*cking tired.”
As business owners we juggle a thousand tasks while balancing on a tightrope. It's a familiar scenario for many of us, especially in the fast-paced world of entrepreneurship. But what happens when the demands of life start to outweigh the personal resources we have available? What's the solution?
First off, it's essential to recognize when we're teetering on the edge of burnout. Ignoring the warning signs only leads to further depletion of our resources and increased stress levels. Instead, let's take a step back and assess the situation with honesty and with self-compassion.
Next, let's accept some brutal realities. The external demands will always outweigh our internal resources. The key is to close the gap between demands and resources by adding to our resources, instead of trying to reduce our demands.
Imagine you're a water well. People are constantly withdrawing water from you- family, clients, employees etc. The water well has a finite amount of water and needs to be refilled. That is where we must take care of ourselves 1st, before taking care of others.
Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential for maintaining our well-being and resilience. Whether it's carving out time for rest, relaxation, or pursuing activities that bring us joy, investing in ourselves is key to finding balance.
Me? I play baseball. I played when I was younger and have always made time for it through the years. Even when my body protests I still get out there and connect with the ball ⚾️. The focus. The swing. The crack of the bat. It’s in those moments I can let the world fall away and just be for me.
For some of my clients it could mean sports, playing music, a monthly massage, or taking up a hobby.
A client of mine told me the story of their grandmother who’s self care was every morning, without fail, sitting on her enclosed porch, in the warmth, drinking her coffee and reading the newspaper. They knew the rules–no one talked to Mom-Mom until she had her coffee. This was how she filled her water well for the day.
Life is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant awareness, adjustment, and a willingness to prioritize our own needs alongside our responsibilities. So, let's commit to reclaiming control over our lives, by first taking care of ourselves.
Here's to thriving in both our personal and professional pursuits. You've got this!
